The Facts Of Life - Or - The Story Of The Birds And The Bills

5.3.08

By Elena Laramie

FACT: Money has very little to do how much you love someone . . . but it has a lot to do with how much you fight with that person, especially if that's your husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend.

Let's face it, if you and your spouse have vastly different opinions about money, how to spend it, how to save it and how much credit to take on....and if you make financial and credit decisions that don't jibe with one another's beliefs, well you might as well get ready now, because you are heading for some pretty serious relationship problems.

Love is powerful, it's an emotion, but it will not solve your rational financial problems. So here are 5 financial facts to consider as you and your significant other head hand in hand down the road to financial bliss:

1. How you spend money has nothing to do with how you feel about each other.
2. The two of you were probably raised differently when it came to money, so you naturally have different outlooks now.
3. You probably value money and credit differently.
4. The two of you may spend money differently.
5. The two of you probably save money differently.

With that many differences, it's easy to see why so many couples disagree about money, savings and credit. The good news is that this makes you a perfectly normal couple.

So how do you manage your household finances with this difference of opinion? Here are a few simple suggestions that could help smooth out the potentially rough road:

1. Get real: is it the money or the relationship?

If you constantly argue about money, it may be indicative of other issues in your relationship. The person who makes more money shouldn't have any more power, leverage or responsibility in a relationship.

2. Fight right

Fighting about finances is ok. It can actually be a good thing, if you do it right. That means learning to fight fair. When you hear voices starting to get louder, take action quickly. Calmly explain your concerns and your goals. Threats and anger are never constructive. State your case and be respectful. If you have the stomach for risk and your partner is financially conservative, don't be pushy about it. Find the middle ground.

3. Keep your eye on the prize and keep your finances on auto-pilot.

With all you have going on, it's easy to take your eyes off long-term goals. You both have to agree on your big-picture goals�things like saving up for a home down payment, funding your IRAs, or paying off the mortgage ahead of schedule so you can retire debt-free. Then, whatever your goals are, set up an automated way to fund those goals. Automate and you don't have to argue.

4. Divide and conquer

Ok, so maybe you're the one who gets stuck doing the bills, handling the banking, balancing the checkbook, etc. Maybe your spouse refuses to, or simply isn't good at it. Or maybe you both are trying to retain total control, and butting heads. This is a perfect time to set regular meetings to discuss your spending patterns and financial plans. 5. Make sure you're on the same page...right from the start.

If you're engaged to be married or thinking about it, now is the time to really talk about your finances. You need to know if she's a shop-a-holic or if he's a compulsive gambler. It's better to get things out in the open now, so you know what you're getting into.

While you're at it, you should explore each other's thoughts on credit card debt, renting vs. buying, your plan to save for retirement and the kids' education. If your fianc้ has problems with your finances or doesn't want to change, then you need to seriously rethink the relationship. It could be headed for disaster.

TransUnion's TrueCredit.com has helped millions of consumers manage their own credit health. With its easy-to-use, educational materials, free monthly newsletters and interactive tools, the company provides all the information individuals need to manage their credit. TrueCredit.com products include online credit reports, credit scores, credit monitoring, debt management tools and identity theft insurance services, all designed to help individuals achieve greater financial well-being. TrueCredit.com is the direct-to-consumer arm of Chicago-based TransUnion Interactive, a subsidiary of TransUnion, a global leader in credit and information management.

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